No caretaker is likely to love your parent as much as you do. In being an advocate for your parent, accept the responsibility of showing the nurses and other caretakers, through the way you lovingly care for your parent, that your mother is an important person who is loved and valued for who she is. By your demonstrations of devotion, you are encouraging them to view your mother as an individual; by making a connection with them at a heart level, you can inspire them to want to take excellent care of your loved one.
Once you have made a true connection with each of her caretakers, it allows you to take time for yourself away from your mother, knowing she is in good hands and that the best care possible is being given. In this way you have expanded the people who are interested in her well-being, effectively multiplying the number of people who want to make her life as pleasant as possible. This is a wonderful way to lighten the load you carry.
Look for other ways to delegate. Perhaps there is a child or grandchild who can visit regularly, or members of her church or former clubs. Enlist her friends to visit. If she is living in a place which offers group activities, read over the calendar with her to decide which events she would like to attend and be sure she gets signed up so the staff knows to include her.
If she is living with you and is highly functional, look into classes she might enjoy attending at your local Senior Center. BALLROOM DANCING has been shown to be particularly effective in retaining brain function (New England Journal of Medicine). When she needs more supervision, look into the possibility of an Adult Day Care Center, which gives you several hours at a time when she can be safely entertained by others. She gets the opportunity to make new friends, to socialize, to be involved in light exercise and art or craft projects while you can use the time as a welcome break. Remember that it is simply human nature that the more appreciative you are of the staff, the more likely they will be to be attentive and appreciative of you and your parent.
Try to keep in mind that all of the responsibility need not weigh on your shoulders alone. Find ways to involve others in your parent’s care and reap the benefits. It can give your loved one a variety of mental stimulation, allow others the opportunity to enjoy interaction with your parent and effectively lighten your load.
Once you have made a true connection with each of her caretakers, it allows you to take time for yourself away from your mother, knowing she is in good hands and that the best care possible is being given. In this way you have expanded the people who are interested in her well-being, effectively multiplying the number of people who want to make her life as pleasant as possible. This is a wonderful way to lighten the load you carry.
Look for other ways to delegate. Perhaps there is a child or grandchild who can visit regularly, or members of her church or former clubs. Enlist her friends to visit. If she is living in a place which offers group activities, read over the calendar with her to decide which events she would like to attend and be sure she gets signed up so the staff knows to include her.
If she is living with you and is highly functional, look into classes she might enjoy attending at your local Senior Center. BALLROOM DANCING has been shown to be particularly effective in retaining brain function (New England Journal of Medicine). When she needs more supervision, look into the possibility of an Adult Day Care Center, which gives you several hours at a time when she can be safely entertained by others. She gets the opportunity to make new friends, to socialize, to be involved in light exercise and art or craft projects while you can use the time as a welcome break. Remember that it is simply human nature that the more appreciative you are of the staff, the more likely they will be to be attentive and appreciative of you and your parent.
Try to keep in mind that all of the responsibility need not weigh on your shoulders alone. Find ways to involve others in your parent’s care and reap the benefits. It can give your loved one a variety of mental stimulation, allow others the opportunity to enjoy interaction with your parent and effectively lighten your load.
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